Tuesday, July 20, 2010

NWA fans mistakenly descend on IOW beach

Residents of the Isle of Wight were shocked to find that Compton Bay, in the west of the Isle of Wight, was overrun with fans of the iconic Gangsta Rap group N.W.A.
On 23rd August 2009, the National Trust car park was full to bursting with wannabe gangsta rappers.
Richard Bennett, a local ice cream seller, described the scene, ‘it was all set up to be a normal day at Compton Bay. The surfers were there, people walking their dogs, families enjoying a day at the beach. All of a sudden the Military Road was full of people driving some rather garish American cars. They came up to me and asked me where the ‘strip’ was, as they wanted to go ‘rollin’ down it. When I told them that I had no idea what they were talking about they said ‘We’re gonna smoke yo ass’. I explained to them that my ice cream van only sold refrigerated food, and that if they wanted something hot they’d better go a couple of miles up the road to Freshwater.’
Mr Bennett continued, ‘one of them came up to me asked where ‘the bitches was at’. I can only assume that he was referring to the hunting kennels in Chale Green, which is a bit of a drive from here. But I gave him directions and he seemed happy enough. Another one told me that his brother would smother my mother, and make my sister think he loved her. Well, my mum lives in one of the retirement flats in Newport and she welcomes any kind of human interaction these days, she’s getting on a bit you see. Unfortunately, I don’t have a sister, but if I did I would certainly introduce her to him, he seemed like a very pleasant young man.’
Local police attended the scene and reported being very upset at the response from fans. PC Johnson said, ‘we were just there to make sure that people had a good time. This was an unexpected boost to the local tourist economy. However, when we arrived everyone started making some very nasty comments about the police, and implying that we were guilty of racism. We can assure them that we only had their best interests in mind.’
The official NWA fan club later issued a statement, ‘It appears that there was a confusion in the booking of tickets. Instead of Compton, South Central Los Angeles, fans were directed to Compton Bay on the Isle of Wight. However, I am pleased to report that most fans had a thoroughly nice time at Compton Bay. The fan club apologises for any misunderstandings that might have occurred.’

[this first appeared on the newsbiscuit website, and I can't remember if I also put it here)

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